ENVY is a sin.

I am having a hard time being a daughter of an opthalmologists and a pediatrician. As professionals, they expect a lot from me. They always think of me as "matalino" in school. This is one reason why I feel so pressured in school. When I was in high school, I strived to be a part of the honor roll. I was ranked 7th then. And ang sakit sakit kasi ne-feel ko na hindi sila satisfied sa rank ko. I even remember the exact words they used ...

When i told them that I was 7th ...
dad: wow ang galing mo ah!
mom: 7th lang? dapat mas mataas pa.

i didn't know what to answer then. School is so overwhelming. I was so pressured when I was in high school.

Now on college, nothing changed. I was even more pressured now than when i was in high school. My friends would usually make kwento about their parents asking them if kaya pa nila. If not, they can shift to another course kung hirap na hirap na sila. My parents are never like that. I can't even remember them giving me "words of wisdom" or motivation ... just the usual "GANYAN TALAGA. ANONG MAGAGAWA NATIN?" My mom would usually add, "Ano gusto mo ng huminto? Anong gusto mong gawin? Mag-asawa?"

*ang sakit*

Now as the summer class ends, I am so nervous with the result of my performance. Am I going to pass and move on to 3rd year proper?! I AM HOPEFUL. I am not afraid of failing dahil lilipat ng school. I am afraid because it's NAKAKAHIYA. i will not only embarass myself but also my parents.

-well there goes my story ...